Because I Miss You

The same sky like always , the same ordinary day . The only difference is that you're not here . I want to smile . Pretending to have forgotten everything , pretending it's nothing . Everyday I keep calling you alone because I miss you . And now I keep calling your name like a habit . I thought I sent you away without any regrets . No , I couldn't send you away yet . It seems like I'm going to die , what should I do ? I love you , I love you , I love you . Without even saying those words , I sent you away like this . I'm sorry, do you hear me ? Can you hear my late confession ? I love you 

She would not able to confess because he never reply ...

Really I Didn't Know

The person I love so dearly has deserted me. And I am now weeping, holding to my wretched heart. The person I trust with his love has leave me indeed. Honestly, I really didn't know that person would leave me. Really, I didn't know. The sound of whistling that I heard, perhaps could it be him? Would he be back? I am finding myself, wretchedly waiting for him.

Don't Go

Your small wings fluttering as if they were waving . Seemed like you were telling me to follow after you . Your sad eyes looked at me as you told your story . It was that night that the wind blew you right into my heart . My mind keeps wandering, thinking of you . I'm the one that is completely captivated by you . It's like I'm mesmerized , forgot to breathe . If this is love I am willing to go anywhere with you . It's like we're dancing . When I'm with you I'm not scared of anything . Be it a second or eternity I know where I want to be . So baby , don't go . Take me anywhere with you and we'll walk together forever . When the world's ending I'll be right by your side . Please don't leave . When the morning comes , please don't just disappear . Please tell me that you will always be right here . It's as if I'm dreaming . Don't fly away , my beautiful butterfly .


Our lips touching is an X or kiss . Arm around each other , O or hug . Do you know what I want to tell you? Day by day I write my heart to you . Wrote everything in this letter, it's true . But I can't seem to send it to you . "How have you been recently" is all I have to say. Why can't I tell you more , why am I this way? To be honest my heart's deeper, deeper than the sea. The words I really wanna say is "Be with me" . Even if this is a dream , here is where I wanna be . My heartbeat is speeding up . I've been waiting long enough in my dream . Just like that you appear in front of me . You're just like the moon, shining your light on me. Gently smiling, telling me you've fallen for me . 


Even if I tell myself that right now its not like before, even if you forget me completely, even if I am just a person that just went by, tonight is just one night, just like before I lost you. My heart wants to find you again. Why is it lingering like this? I can't accept myself without you. My heart that wants you again. Why is it lingering like this? I can't actually realize that I don't have you. I don't except you to come back again. My heart is always trapped inside of yours. Please listen to my heart just once. Every day, every night I am missing you. Even if you aren't by my side, even if I can't see you now, in my heart, you're always the same.

Am I That Easy ?

I only want warm love . You only give me a cold hand . Throw away that arrogant pride . It keeps annoying and irritating me . I’m going completely crazy because of you . You act nice and I believe it all . I gave it all to you and I was betrayed again . It keeps annoying and irritating me . You put on that fake smile of yours and I feel like I’m going crazy . Stop bothering me and leave me alone . I’m not like before , just accepting everything . I’m not like a lighthouse only watching you like a fool . So spoiled , so conceited , so arrogant . You talk in dirty ways , you act immaturely . It keeps annoying and irritating me . I can’t understand it . What the hell do you want from me ? I can’t do this or that in the name of love . Someday you’ll experience the same . You who plays with love, you who sees love as easy . Am I so easy for you ? Is love is so easy for you ? Are the memories with me is so easy for you ? Is everything is so easy for you ? 

Will You Be Alright ?

Have you thought through the words you just spit out ? Do you know that you can’t turn things back easily ? I hate that you look sorry and sad . This might be our last time so please smile . Rather than me without you , you without me makes me more worried . Because you’re not good at doing things on your own . Will you be alright ? Even if I’m not by your side ? You get lonely so easily . Will you be alright ? Without a person to argue with . Without a person to joke around and laugh with . Think of it twice , think it through again . If you leave me , will you really be alright without me ? Because you’re clumsy at everything without me . Because the you that I know is like a child . Where are you going ? Why you wanna go ? In the end , you start to cry . What am I supposed to do now ? How can I let you go ? You are going to fall apart . Will you be alright ?

Only You

I thought it was over because it was exactly like the breakup formula my friends told me about . I thought if I endured through a couple days , I would forget someone like you . But the me inside is whispering that there won’t be another person I’ll love the way I loved you , that I’ll wander around here and there and go back to you , that this can’t be the end .  Why did you do that back then ? Was it because you were sick of me ? Or did I do something wrong ? They say men are like this . They say not to always be by their sides and not to treat them well all the time . But I like you , so what can I do ? I hate you for making me cry . I curse at you and resent you but like a lie , my heart was frozen cold but it melts down in front of you . Just like the seasons change from cold winter to spring . I’m melting because of you  , because I’m a fool , because I know nothing but you . That’s why I’m melting again 

Heart Attack

Nothing has ever broken me like you did . No one I ever wanted more than you . Nobody else can make a girl so weak . Make her fall in love so deep . And every single memory I know reminds me that I’m all alone . If I could just get over you , I would . Don’t wanna love you anymore and missing you is like fighting a war . It’s a battle I’m losing and I’d give up if I could . If I could walk away as easily as you , I would . Thought I’ve seen enough to know it all . But not enough to know how it feels to fall . But the kind of pain you left me with , it never seems to heal and it never lets me go . Tell me how do I live with tainted love ? Tell me how can I feel no feelings ? Is there a way to leave it all behind ? If I could just get over you , I would . Don’t wanna love you anymore and missing you is like fighting a war . It’s a battle I’m losing and I’d give up if I could . Just tell me how to walk away from loving you and I would .


Dear Angels , I know you hate some points in me and even annoyed with it . Please ... tell me if you are . I feel like I'm invisible in your eyes . I feel like I want to drift away from all of you . Do you know why ? Because you can't point me the mistake I made and you can't tell me what's terrible about me . Thus , you choose to avoid me and join others . Like seriously , I am quite sad with the situation I am facing right now . I feel like I am useless even though we're supposed to lean on each other . I feel like I am stupid when I'm great at certain things . You guys never make me see myself in that way . Friendship is about to give and take . I can't just give in to all of you . I feel like it's me who always take it . Can't you take what I'm trying to give ? Just please ... I don't want anything else . All I want is to have all of you to share happiness and sadness with me . I don't want to see all the bias thing in our friendship . What others give is what you have to take . What others take , you have to accept it . Directly say it is not the proper way in our friendship . But I hope we can advice each other in a good way so that no heart will get hurt . Don't deny , my angels . All of you are already become my world , how can I never know what you guys are thinking ? If one of us is sad , we can always cheer each other . But please ... please appreciate . Don't ever say that words is just a word ! Words or pray from a friend come with bless , my dear angel . So please appreciate because we're not able to help you in physical way . Problem only can be settled by your own . Each one of us can only guide and support . And ... some of us are lacking in something . I hope , we can fix it together and not make others jealous with what we have . Don't ignore one another with the thing you have . Dear Angels , no more love story to be told . You guys are innocent and maybe not able to understand the feeling . I understand I'll fix it . I just hope we can fix it together as a family . Please ... I hope we can fix it before I fix it on my own . I did this because I love every single of you . I can cry because all of you . You guys are the definition of happiness to me 

Tears Airport

I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love . I did . You were strong and I was not . My illusion , my mistake . I was careless , I forgot . I did . And now when all is done, there is nothing to say . You have gone and so effortlessly , you have won . You can go ahead and tell them . Shout it from the roof tops , write it on the skyline . All we had is gone now . Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken . Tell them what I hoped would be impossible . Falling out of love is hard . Falling for betrayal is worst . Thinking all you need is there . Empty promises will wear . I know ... 

So Into U

I must have more tears than I thought . How could it be like this ? I let you go while smiling then . I’m not like other girls . I can’t be too cunning like them . I can’t meet anyone else because I can only think of you .You don’t have to listen to my nagging anymore . But you can’t become skinnier than you are now . Please make sure you eat . What should I do ? I keep missing you . I miss being in your arms already . I still like you , why did we separate ? I hope you feel the pain just like I do . You must be living like nothing’s happened . I can understand that . In a way , that suits you better . We used to spend the night talking . I tried to erase them , but it’s not working well . Foolishly , my tears keep on coming . I want to go find you . You’re starting to forget me already . So why can’t I do the same ? No , you’re the same as me . Please tell me that’s the situation . Come back to me please ... Just one day by my side

It’s like you’re uninterested , it’s like you’re always busy . And it’s like you think if you call first , you’re losing a game . I’ve always been like that too . You're different this time . You're a different person somehow . I don't want to lose you . I don't think you'll ever come back again . So tell me what’s up . Without having to hide , with a little more love , I want to deliver my heart and tell you , looking straight into your eyes . Everyone says , “Girls are prideful” . So to you too, even if you try to protect me . I need you , I want you . These words are hard to say but I’ll find the courage to say them

I still don’t understand love . So I can’t get any closer . But why does my foolish heart keep pounding ? I’m haunted by you again and again . I just can’t get away . This hopeless love hurts my heart so much . From day to night you’re all I think about . Being so pitiful and silly . What should I do ? The heart follows love . What am I going to do ? The day when my pain fades away . Will that day ever come ? Being so pitiful and silly . What can I do after all ? The moonlight is so beautiful . I just can’t get away . Let me lie down by your side for a moment . A moment ... just a moment

Dead At Heart

For real , what did you do during this year , love ? After letting you go , I felt like I was going to go crazy up until yesterday . In that long period of time there’s only you who left me . Having no other thoughts but of you, that’s how this year is passing by . The memories of that rainy day , when I went to go to find you . The clear sunshine that shined down on us when we walked together . None of these have left me . Inside my head , it makes me slowly die . All of my friends have become adults . But me ... still like an immature child . Having no other thoughts but of you , it’s just like being dead . I can’t understand our breakup . Even now I imagine our future . Even after our breakup ...  just like how my heart is always living by your side . It’s as if it’s dead . I stop the moments that I loved you . Even when we’re together , I won’t be able to remember you . If I just think that I wasn’t any of these , then it’s nothing . If I can’t forget you , it’s as if i’m dead .

One Person's Story

So many stories come and go but only me who have one story about a person for years now . It’s a story about a person that only you don’t know and everyone else knows . If things are hard , I cry by myself . A sadness that isn’t even necessary because I hate being told to forget you . Words that haven’t even cooled down – I love you . Haven’t you ever been curious about my heart ? Loving someone to the point where you hate them . Do you know how that feels ? I’ve done nothing but love . But they keep telling me to not fall in love now . No one brings up stories about you in front of me . On good days , I laugh by myself but it’s awkward because I can’t laugh loudly because I hate it when they worry about me . When tears rise up , I sing that sad melody – probably about a thousand times . I love you . Are you trying to ignore me ? The more I love , the more afraid I get that you might get distant . So only my lies keep increasing . I don’t want to lose you .


I never talk about them here but this post is about them ;)
This post is dedicated to EXO for their first anniversary .

08 . 04 . 2012 
Thank you for your existance .
I am forever yours .
Hold my hand and never let go .
All of us will go on forever .
Someday we’ll widely show everyone our love .
When that day comes I will never let go of your hands .
I love you . These past 365 days has been nothing but bliss .
Thank you 

I know them when they are known as M1 and M2 . I still remember that ChanYeol's name was very famous that time and also Kai because he's TaeMin's bestfriend . The first member I like in EXO is Sehun for EXO-K and Luhan for EXO-M . I like them when I first saw their teaser ;) Okay , the first member I hate is Kai because he got so many teasers ! If I'm not mistaken , he got 11 teasers . But , my ultimate bias in EXO now is him , Kim Jong In aka Kai . Hahaha XD Next , the member I like after MAMA is released is Kai for EXO-K and Kris for EXO-M . So sorry , Sehun and Luhan .  But now , my ultimate bias in EXO-M is Luhan while in EXO-K is Kai . The first time I listened to their song was around April , a few days after their debut . That is why I fall in love with Kai . I love his part when he says 'MAMA' . The day I become EXOTIC is when I first listened to Angel - EXO-K . I don't remember the date because I deleted my browse history . So sad . But I am sure it was around June 2012 :) Jeng jeng jeng . My first impression about EXO . Truthfully , I watched What Is Love MV and I observe the voice . I really don't know the members well and I think that their voice is really the same as Yoo Young Jin , the composer of SM . I am totally not interested that time . *close tab* . Hehehe :D But after knowing them , I am totally in love with these 12 hot boys . They are great and they remind me a lot of Super Junior . My favourite vocal line in EXO is Luhan and Suho . I love Luhan's voice in What Is Love , Angel and Machine and I love Suho's voice in Angel . My favourite rapper line , of course Kai and Sehun ;) My favourite dance line is Kai , Sehun and Luhan . They are very charismatic when they are dancing . One more thing , the hottest topic among the EXOTIC ... OTP . OTP that I hate the most is HunHan ( Sehun + Luhan ) and XiuHan ( XiuMin + Luhan ) . It's not that I'm jealous but this OTP are really irritating and annoying for me . Hahaha . Sorry to the shippers ;) But I think I don't have any favourite OTP in EXO . 

To EXO - Congrats for your first anniversary . All of you have done so many great things so far . EXOTIC will always stick to all of you . We will always support your music and your hard work . WE ARE ONE !  #365DaysWithEXO #EXO1stAnniversary

XiuMin  Luhan Kris SuHo Lay BaekHyun
Chen ChanYeol D.O Tao Kai  Sehun 

Inconvenient Truth

I keep thinking of you at night, I cannot sleep . Why did I turn on this love show ? The distance between us has increased . I was the servant of this love . Why did we fight ? Why were we like that ? Did you lose the sight ? We used to be in love . Why am I stuck in this moment ? The one I need is you, silly . You and I, don't cut our cord .  Don't deny our r²π . Come to me, everything is fine now . We will start everything over, over again . 

Dear friends, it's weird that I know about that thing, I view it, I read it but you never want to open up to me . Well, just like someone says ... it shows how you trust me . Guess I'm not good enough to be your friend . It's really weird for me . I'm not going to touch about that thing in our conversation because I don't want to make things complicated . You always burst your feeling there and I know it . I want to comfort you there but I can't because we are not connected . When I want to text you, it feels weird because well, we are not connected there but I know it . Then , we both know that you blocked me . Once again, I feels weird because one day, we talked about it, you opened it in front of me and yeah, we both know you blocked me . How do I say this ? Hmm ~~ It's just weird, okay ? And I hope we can fix it . We are friends right ? 


Girl, I know it's hard , but don't ever lose hope . We'll get through this together , I promise ... Unfamilar pains always find us like habits and make us cry . I always feel sorry but the pathetic reality won't be eternal . Thank heaven that sent you to me and the heaven will protect us . Some day we will fly free just like your dream , we will . One step , then another . Although I will get tired , I won't give you up . I believe that it can't always be the same . More days are awaiting us . You don't need to cry any longer . I'll be there for you . I promise you , I can protect you because I love you . We so prepared to greet beautiful days and the small wish we made is getting near . Some day we will fly free . The days that your tears dreamed of will be so beautiful . Wipe your tears away , here comes the sunny days . No more worries cause the storm is gone . I'm here to stay . I know it's hard for you , the pain you're going through . And by looking at you girl , I feel the hurt you do . Through the good and the bad times , I'll be there . Keep your head up high , don't you ever feel despaired . I'm always here for you and you know this much is true . If you're ever feeling doubt , I'll come and comfort you . Let's live a life of hope and give a love unknown . And together we'll see what the future holds

Dedicated to : MoonlightJHN

As Good As It Gets

Wipe your tears away , here comes the sunny days . No more worries cause the storm is gone and I'm here to stay . I know it's hard for you , the pain you're going through . And by looking at you , I feel the hurt you do . Through the good and the bad times , I'll be there . Keep your head up high , don't you ever feel despaired . I'm always here for you and you know this much is true . If you're ever feeling doubt, I'll come and comfort you .

I keep wondering . Did I do wrong till she always want to keep all her account hidden ? Till she blocked me like I am a stalker . I am her friend and why only one or few people are allowed to know about her account ? Am I that terrible that she did it even though I knew it already ? I am not stupid . I am her friend for 4 years . I know her attitude really well because I love her even she didn't communicate a lot with me , playing around with me . Just tell me why . I keep this feeling for almost 2 years already . And I can't bear it because I am tired of thinking why she do that . I know some people just need space from the world and from who they are . She let others but not me and why is that ? I knew it , she knew it and I am hurt . I care about her but I didn't show it . People really don't know but I always protect her from stranger because she is special . I know that we never know what's on each other minds . A friend said that there's a pain she want to hide by spacing out from others and why I did I do not know about that ? Others knew it . Why it is not me to know ? I just don't understand . Sometimes , I saw her always willingly give others this one thing and whenever I want it too , I doubt to ask her . Because she give other person willingly , not like me . I feel like she doesn't want to give me . It's not that I am not trusting , not believing . I'm afraid that she's not there for me , I'm afraid she hates me . I'm afraid she's pretending in front of me . I do love her but I guess we are too awkward . I'm afraid of myself . I'm afraid  I did wrong . I'm afraid I am annoying . I'm afraid I will not have her trust . I'm afraid I'm not a good friend . Yeah , that's true that she wouldn't speak to me if she doesn't love me . She would've just ignored me when I talk to her . But sometimes I need her to understand me too


My once calm world is once again shaken . Love comes by looking at only you . Happiness comes by being with you . The pain of tears disappears and this is as good as it gets . Let’s do this the easy way , let’s be honest and trust each other . I’ll always be by your side . If we’re together , the world can’t get better than this . Tears well up at little things that weren’t a big deal before . My vision gets blurred and my heart is moved . A corner of the heart that I gave , used to be your spot but now it’s empty . But my pride pushes it out , saying that even the attachment that love brings is now lost . But I don’t think so , I’m still unchanged . All I want is you . The days without you become pale . Just like it never happened . So I start my story from the beginning . My usual dark self is now expressing my feelings . Over and over ... the sound of my heart won’t stop . Over and over ... this warm feeling won’t end .


I love you . I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore . I don’t even have the right to get close to you . Don’t love me . I don’t have the ease of being able to give you my heart . I live every day beyond my strength , each day is too much so I cry . I don’t have anything to give you but I'm missing you . I can’t even give you loving words but I’m missing you . I can’t even boldly wish for you to be mine but I’m missing you . So I push you away because I’m a girl who has nothing but her own heart . I’m holding back , even though it hurts .  Even tears are a luxury for me . I don’t even have the right to look at you . Don’t look at me . I know that my heart is wherever you are . Close enough that our breaths can touch , always in that same place . I can’t hold your hand but I’m missing you . I’m worried I might just have my tears to hold , so I’m missing you . I can’t tell you to stay with me but I’m missing you . So it’s too much , but in the end … it’s because I’m a girl who has nothing but her own heart .

A Goodbye

Now all my hopes and all my dreams are suddenly reality . You've opened up my heart to feel a kind of love that's truly real . A guiding light that'll never fade . There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade . For the love you give , it won't let go . I hope you'll always know .

This post is dedicated to my beloved teacher , Mrs Kalaichelvi . She is my Geography teacher since form 1 till form 3 . Then , she is my English teacher since form 4 until now . Tomorrow is her retirement day . I am quite sad because she had been with me since I am form 1 . The only teacher who teach me 5 years in a row . We will perform for her tomorrow and I hope my classmates did not cry . If not , I will cry too . Teacher also said that she didn't want us to cry because she will also cry . It's quite sad . She's like our mother already . She always defend us from other teacher . She understand us and she is so cool ! 

Dear Mrs Kalai , thanks a lot for all the effort of teaching me not only Geography and English but many things about life . You make me love English more . You always said that I will get A for Geography even though I always get B and C in exam . And to my surprise , I got A in Geography for PMR ! Thanks God , thanks to you too . Ouh , talk about PMR ... I still remember the moment I cried because I didn't get straight A's . You is the first teacher who calm me down . I still remember of what you said to me that time . I really appreciate it . And for English , you always ask us to do an essay . When doing essay , I enjoyed it . Plus , you said my essay was good except for the grammar mistake . And yesterday , you said that I will get an A+ for English . You said I can write and you give me good mark for my essay . I am sorry for always using Korean names in my essay . I just love it . Hahahaha . But I won't do it in my SPM . Promise ! And ... no worry , teacher . I will get an A in English for SPM . InsyaAllah . Forgive me for whatever mistake that I have done to you . Anyway , if you're bored feel free to come and visit us . I hope you will be happy in your life not as a teacher . I love you , teacher . Even I am not so close with you but I enjoy your classes and I do love you

Maybe In Love

I don’t remember the look you used to give me or your warm and cozy embrace . From some point , we didn’t try to get to know each other or even want to get to know each other . Our changing images were so cold that it couldn’t even be touched . Inside the tiring indifference , I couldn’t do anything and I hated myself more for that . You didn’t look at my eyes , you didn’t read my heart , you turned away from my sadness . I love you – were these words not enough ? I didn’t know at first , I thought you were just busy . Your calls and dates with you grew less . You’ll come if I wait , I should understand . But the more I did so , the further you got . I am standing here in the same place but you grow faint and I can’t see you . I don’t even know my way back . So come here , hurry and save me . On the day where everything ended in a quick moment , after snapping out of it , I realized I was really alone . Are you really crying like a fool ? Do you think it’s over ? I really can’t think of anything right now . I love you – maybe I just wanted to hear those words . 
That was you 

I Need You

Pass by me , I’ll pretend not to have seen those eyes . I’ll just say that I didn’t see you . Please just ignore me before my shaking heart collapses . This coincidence happened one , two , three times . Now it feels like you are my destiny . For the last time , just one , two , three more times , I keep missing you . You are so precious to me . Why is it you who happened to take everything ? Everything that I ever wanted . Tears fall when I see you . Why did you touch my heart ? I can’t have you but I want you . My heart hurts when I see you who can never be mine . In my dreams , I am holding you and I am saying these nonsense words , I love you . Tears fall drop by drop but I try to brush off my heart . Your embrace makes me breath . Just come into my arms and stay still . I tried convincing myself and tried to avoid you . But now I became a coward girl and I want you . My heart ... it’s the place that you should be . Which decision is the right one ? I need you , want you back . Stop avoiding , swallow up the memories that are tangled up and scarred . I need you , I feel so bad . The scrunched up nervousness , I’ll make it into a place of peace and spread it out within me . Now you are so precious , more than anyone else . I am going to you right now , after letting everything else go . I don’t need anything else because I love you . I will protect you , whatever it takes . I just need to look at you . I need you , I want you and I love you .

Illa Illa ♥

I love you even as the time goes by . I love you even if the world changes . I'm always glad you stay by my side and protect me . Thank you . Whenever I open my eyes in the morning , I think of you . Starting with a bright smile even after a tiresome day again , I think of you . I'm the happiest person alive . Now I'm not sad . Now I don't cry . I give you my all . I love you . Although I can't stop your tears from falling I'll shed my tears along with you . Let's not be hurt again . Let's not cry again . I give my all to you . Even if we fall a thousand times , even if we collapse again ... We'll get up again . Even if the wind and rain beat down on us , even if darkness falls ... I'll protect you . Because of you , I live another day . Because of you , my heart continues to beat . I shout to the skies that you're the one and only person that I love . I love you 

Who are they ? The angels who always care for her , love her and now ... already become her happiness . Why it's hard for them to tell her ? Because they love her a lot . This girl is sorry for making her angels worry about her . This girl annoy them so much , this girl can't wake from her dream but ... her angels need to know that she also don't want thing like this happened . She never want to be in this situation . She hate to be in this situation . She tried so hard to make her angels to not get annoyed with her ... even this girl asked them so many times . 'Am I annoying?' This girl love to hear the truth because whether it's good or bad ... in the future , there is something better than today . Her angels need to know something too . This girl put so much effort to endure her feeling and this problem is not the only problem that hurt her .There is other problem that hurt her the most . Why such word did not hurt her a bit ? Because she know's for her best and it shows that her angels care for her a lot . Why is this girl crying ? Because if she never cry today , her life will be miserable and she will never realize the truth that she is facing now . Now this girl is blank , she can't choose the path but she know what to do for her future . Her ambition is to be a doctor or a lawyer and she will fulfill her ambition first . This is her future , InsyaAllah . And this girl thanks her angels a lot .

There is an angel , she always make this girl strong enough to face the day .
There is an angel , she always calm this girl's worried and bothersome heart .
There is an angel , acting like she never care but she care for this girl actually .
There is an angel , who work hard to wake this girl from her dream .
There is an angel , who bright the day till this girl didn't know that this angel , love her .
And there is a girl , who can't stop talking about her angels because she love them a lot .

Dear angels , we are meant for each other . If one of us fall , the remaining five will raise that angel up . If one of us is not happy , the remaining five will always care . In this world , where can we meet this angels ? We love each other so much and we believe that we can walk this path together as one . Thanked God that He gather us and make us love each other . It takes another lifetime to find another you , BB :)

Everlasting Sunset

All day you linger in my eyes . Because of you , I can’t do anything . You even appear in my dreams , shaking me up . When I wake up, I search around looking for you . When I see nice clothes when walking down the street , I keep thinking of you . When I’m eating tasty foods , I think of you . When I look at couples on the street , I keep thinking of you . When it’s the free weekend , I think of you . On a good sunny day like today , a date with you . How sweet would that be ? You don’t know that I’m like this . I can’t move closer because you are so much more than me . However , even if you don’t know ... regardless of the fact that I can’t express my heart , I can’t stop myself . Everything looks different because of you . Even the gentle breeze excites me . You don’t know about this love that I started on my own . But because I long for it so much , I believe that it will come true .

It's not that I can't accept the fact that I can't have it . I tried to avoid it even though the memories keep hunting me . Yes , I tried to avoid because I know , something in my body refuse to let it go . My heart ... refuse to let it go . All this time , I am sad not because I can't have it but I am sad knowing the fact that I am like this . Fall in love , I hate this . I don't want to but I guess my heart controlled my mind . It's hard to forget something that had changed you because it will always there . But ... I'm trying to be strong , to fight the memories . Everything happens for a reason . Allah have secured something better for me in the future and I'll wait for it patiently . 

Love is not hurt , loving the wrong one does . Better be with no one than with the wrong one .

Love Disease

Even though you are not here , I still remember all your words . I live my life as you are exist , whispering all the words to me . When will you send me your letter ? I will wait till your love confession comes . My heart breaks when I remember all the love we build together . Should I just forget because you are already gone ? Even though you leave without your will but my heart still feel that you're so cruel when you leave me with our love note . When will I accept your absence ? I will burn and destroy all the memories . Dear , I beg you to leave me with the memories . Just go to where you belong . There will be something better for you and me . Just go ...

Maybe this is my fate . Adoring without being loved . It's okay for me as long as you are happy with your life . I have keep that feeling for you for a long time . Waiting for you to embrace me . It's okay for me . Loving you is a happiness for me . I want you to know that I am here , waiting for you . Even though I have to wait till the end of time , I hope this feeling will be last forever . Let me hug you for this time to forbid you a goodbye forever and let this feeling of happiness last for a while .


We were in love , weren’t we ? All those days we spent together . We shared our pain , didn’t we ? Even when we didn’t know what was wrong . Where are you now ? Don’t you hear my voice ? My aching heart searches for you . It calls out for you , it’s going crazy . My heart , my tears . Again the memory of you drop by drop fall onto my chest . I cry and cry and these memories can’t be erased . Today my empty heart is drenched again . We liked each other , didn’t we ? I used to make you laugh just by smiling . We cried together , didn’t we ? You would hurt too when you saw my tears . Where are you now ? Don’t you see how exhausted I am ? My aching heart searches for you . It calls out for you , it’s going crazy . Won’t you come back to me?  Every day I call out your name . As I wait and exhausted , I wander and look for you . My love , my tears , my memories is with you .
Annyeong readers, 2012 have leave us and let's welcome 2013 . I hope this year will be better than 2012 . I really love 2012 . There are some sad memories and there are some sweet memories . BUT I got more sweet memories from 2012 . Thanks to anyone who were with me in 2012 . So , what sweet things that happened in 2012 ?
1. I'm in 4 Cekal
Yes , 4 Cekal in JIGSS is a science class . Majority of the student in this class is the student who got 7 A's and 8 A's in PMR . Well , as I got 7 A's and 1 B in my PMR , I am afraid that I am not able to be in this class . But on that morning , when they were arranging our classes , I heard my name in 4 Cekal's namelist . I am so happy . I got to meet my friends *well , many of them are straight A liner*
2. I met my Ranju
Who is Ranju ? Her full name is Ranjeni but I love to call her Ranju ;) She is my classmate and we sat beside each other . She is very funny and my friends always claimed that we are couple . Hahaha . Well , I love her and yes , I know she love me too . We love to hate each other . She is my sit partner after Anis went for other school .
3. Date with SNSD
SNSD or Girl's Generation is not a group that I like but I follow their music ;) My cousin is a big fan of them and it was the first time SNSD come to Malaysia . She is excited that we went for Twin Tower Concert . Hahaha . I don't want to remind what I saw in that concert . Hahaha . I want to laugh . Well , I enjoyed them and my cousin look at me with unbelievable look . She even asked me , why are you cheering like that ? You are not their fans . Ouh well , once we entered a concert , we would want to follow and can't stop ;)
4. F1 Petronas Malaysia Grand Prix
Yes , it is the first time I went for F1 . I went there with Sahira , my bestiee and her siblings . Well , she asked me to bring a earphone but I only bring headphone and it's not helping at all . My ears are going to be deaf if I went there again . But I really enjoy this trip . We sat in front of the starting line . Well , actually the ticket cost much money . Hmm . Won't tell more about it .
5. Date with Teen Top
They are coming to Malaysia for the second time ! That was what I shouted when I found out that they are going to perform for Malaysia Youth Day . We . Sahira and I got to stand at the front , step on a small chair , take a beautiful picture of them , L.Joe noticed my banner , all of them noticed us since we are the one who suddenly become the tallest there . It's such a sweet memories ;)
6. Kuala Gandah Trip
This is my second trip with JIGSS . I went there with my beloved friends , Nena , Vivi and Faiza . So sad that Fieda were unable to join us . But seriously , I enjoyed this trip ! I got to meet elephant in front of me . Ouh , Faiza got to snap a picture with a snake . Hahaha . I just snapped a picture with a deer .
7. I am EXOTIC !
Okay , EXOTIC is a temporary fanclub name for a famous rookie group that debut in April 2012 , EXO . This group is divided into 2 sub-unit , EXO-K , which promote in Korea and EXO-M , which promote in China ;) There are 12 members is this group . I know them before their debut actually . That is when they are known as M1 and M2 :D  I watched their teaser and I really hate Kai that time coz he got the most teaser . The first member I like , Oh Sehun *wink* the second is Lu Han *wink* . Then  I watched their MV , What Is Love . I don't know why but I think the vocalist voice is just like Yoo Young Jin's voice that I ignore them at first . After their debut , on 30 April I downloaded their tittle track , MAMA . And ... I fall in love with Kai . Hahaha . That time my Sehun got the least part and I change my bias to Kai . Then ... around June , I listened to their song , Angel . Okay , that is the day I become an EXOTIC ;) Plus , I watched EXO-M Happy Camp and fall in love with Kris . Once again , change my bias in EXO-M . Mianhae Luhan . Since that , I really love EXO ! These 12 boys remind me of Super Junior . *but now my bias list have turned upside down*
8. I met my BB
Okay , BB actually stand for Big Bangang . Created by me ;) Actually the members in BB is my friends who I know since form 2 and form 4 . We started to be in a group since 13th July 2012 . Well , being in this group really make me happy . They made my day , they always be with me when I need them . Sincerely , I love them that I can't stop talking about them to other people . Hahaha . Lead by a crazy , childish but a responsible leader , helped by two other elders who always fight for maturity since their age difference is only one day . Then , the eldest among the youngest who always make us laugh a lot . Followed by a younger one that is cheerful and have weird aura . End with a small , short , penguin-like as the youngest . I am glad that I met them and thanked God they are here till today , always with me :)
9. Bicara Berirama 2012
Bicara Berirama or Choral Speaking was one of the performance for Malaysia's Independence Day . My school was selected and my school have to send 80 students for this performance . Well , my class was chosen and we went there half-hearted . Really hate it at first but then , we started to love it . It give a lot of memories to me and BB . We met so many friends . Well , actually this performance combined 26 schools in Kuala Lumpur and 1000+ students was chosen . Yosh , can't tell more . I miss this one ;)
10. My birthday
My 16th birthday . of course it was the memorable day ever ! Well , it was on Sunday and we still got practice for Bicara Berirama . In the morning , I received a lot of wishes especially my BB , my cousin and Iera . I got a lot of present too . Well , when I opened my FB , tadaa ! So many people wished me . Thanks a lot ! BB also held a birthday party for me and well , surprise party , I guess . That's why I love them a lot . Hahaha . My siblings wishes is the best ! They kissed me when I'm going to sleep and wished me . I love you , siblings !
11. The first time going for tuition
Yes . Me , NanazDaira never go for any tuition classes before . Only extra classes held by school . My tuition center is far away at Pasar Seni there and I went there with my BB , Nena and Fazrin . Well , the youngest one is the only one who went for tuition ;) And , I started to love it even though it is tiring .
This feeling is the first time . This love is the first time . The one that moves my heart is you . My love is for you . I just met you but I want to meet again . You are the only one who can be by my side . Even if I close my eyes I can find my one and only . I will protect you . Your day is my day , because of each other every day can be beautiful . Don’t bring up breaking up , such a hurtful words . Just stay by my side like this