Ariadne

I tried spending a day without you but the hellish pain traps me. I need to love without you but I don’t even have the smallest space. I cry out loud but you won’t hear and again today, I only say your name. I madly miss you, I miss you to death. I try to push you out but it’s only you in my mind. I tell myself that I’m over you but it’s only you in my mind. I keep missing you, I only miss you. I try to comfort myself, telling myself to stop but I can only forget you because my heart still remembers you. I throw a fit but I keep thinking of you. The longing words that come up to my throat... I love you. I madly love you, I love you to death. Though I curse, though I get angry, it’s only you in my mind. I only love you, I only love you to death because of this foolish love. It's only you because I only love you.

This post is dedicated to the sweetest buddy I ever have in my life, Sahira bt Mohd Tamam. My girl, my angel. Born on 8th November 1996, she is my baby dongsaeng. We know each other when we're in standard 4. She was a new student and the silent type so we are not close to each other yet. We're classmate for three consecutive years and we started to be best friend when we're in standard 6. Want to know when? It was when we know that we have a crush on the same person. How funny. Every girls in the school was hating me but she was the one who always be with me, without any doubt, without any hatred. It's funny if I write some of primary school memory so I better stop. Hehehe.  Then, we entered the same high school even though we're in different class. I'm grateful that even we're in different session but we managed to contact each other and remain best friend till now. Starting from form 1 also, we started to exchanged birthday present and I still kee...

I was so young back then, I could only see you. I didn’t need anything if we could be together. We fought a lot about things that weren’t a big deal. When I think about it, only laughter comes out. Sometimes I’m so curious about you, I could die. But there’s nothing I can do about it now. Sometimes I think of you and I miss you so much. But I will just bury it in as beautiful memories. Hello? Just saying that one word is hard so I can’t even call you. I’m sorry that I didn’t treat you better, I’m so sad over you. I can’t be held by you anymore, even in my dreams. Don’t ever hurt again and be happy, I will pray for you. The past memories flicker before me, I can’t do anything. Why am I such a fool? First love, my unforgettable love. Why does it hurt so much? Am I the only one who remembers? First love, I call out to you with this desperate voice until it can reach you, until always. I close my eyes in this moment, tears flow in this moment. Why am I so pathetic, still not over you? ...